The Fever Bird

The Fever Bird

The fever bird sang out last night.
I could not sleep, try as I might.

My brain was split, my spirit raw.
I looked into the garden, saw

The shadow of the amaltas
Shake slightly on the moonlit grass.

Unseen, the bird cried out its grief,
Its lunacy, without relief.

Three notes repeated, closer, higher,
Soaring, then sinking down like fire.

Only to breathe the night and soar,
As crazed, as desperate, as before.

I shivered in the midnight heat
And smelt the sweat that soaked my sheet.

And now tonight I hear again,
The call that skewers through my brain,

The call, the brain-sick triple note--
A bone of pain stuck in its throat.

I am so tired I could weep.
Mad bird, for God's sake let me sleep.

Why do you cry like one possessed?
When will you rest? When will you rest?

Why wait each night till all but I
Lie sleeping in the house, then cry?

Why do you scream into my ear
What no one else but I can hear?

(A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth)

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice—

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world

determined to do

the only thing you could do

determined to save

the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

Swayam

I dabble with Warli art in my own small way.Here,a reproduction of them on handmade paper bags.

Can I Make A Wish?

We have a ritual of sorts here in India where when an eye lash drops on your cheek you have it picked up by the person next to you ,make a fist of your hands,put that eyelash on it and wish for something which is close to your heart.And then blow it away. It was believed your wish gets carried away by the wind to God and he grants that wish to you! Just a child hood fun thing.As far back as I can remember, I learned it from my eldest cousin and innumerable silly yet cherished  things such as these which has stayed with me. I am passing it on to my children,silly as it may sound.(Whoever heard of picking up eyelashes and praying /wishing for something?!Moronish? Nah,I don't think so! ) Someone even pointed out,'you still do this silly childhood thing ?' and I preened and said,Yes,I do! It makes me happy! And it makes me even happier when my children believe in it and hold on to it like their life depended on it. I love it when they spot an eye lash on my cheek and say.'wish,wish,wish'..and though its a long gone forgotton thing which now even I try to push back in the recesses of my mind as little joys of yesteryear,I hold on to it. My older one, a young lad of 9, has had a head injury yesterday;he collided with a boy ,about the same age ,head on and while that boy just had a swelling on his forehead,my son got a tear of tissue just above his right eyebrow.I took him to the Station Medical Center where he ended up with three stitches(he boasts that he's got six.Typical boy thing I tell you!) and an outlandish dressing he's quite proud of! There's a very close relative whose undergoing some serious health problems and one of her reports even suspect her of being a cancer patient,which all of us fear maybe true! My older son knows about it. So,my younger son,whose 2y9m had a couple of eye lashes resting on his cheek.Since my inclination and time allowed me to do this,I thought I'll teach him now how to wish for things.Because though he has a lot of wishes and demands he doesn't know how to 'make a wish'! I told him,'say Dear God(and he was repeating after me,It was such a special moment,I wished I had a camera rolling!) Please keep my family and me safe n sound',we were going to make a couple of wishes more when my older son interjected and said,'Leo, please pray that when your Bhaiya goes to get his stitches cut it doesn't pain him much,so we prayed that! And then he said, also pray that Granny gets rid of her cancer ailments. I thought to myself ,Thank God, for helping us recognize at times like these that as parents we must be doing something right to bring up a kid so empathising with others' pain. ….... with that we blew the lashes with 3 wide grins!

I am my own best friend and my worst enemy...

"Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes and I am left the way I began. The more things change ,the more I am the same. It seems my life is a constant irony of maturity and regression,but my sense of progress is based on the illusion that things out there are going to remain the same and that at last,I have gained a little control... But there never will be means to ends, only means. I am what I started with,and when it is all over,I will be all that is left of me." Hugh Prather in 'Notes to Myself'

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